First half of year 2012 is gone..

Time fly by real fast. Is 30th June 2012 and tomorrow is 1st July of 2012, this is showing that half year is exactly just past by and tomorrow all of us is going into the next half year of the 2012 before going into 2013.

Today is my birthday too...every year on my birthday I will remember how time had just past by, no matter with knowing it or not. Time won't wait for you. That's why there is a saying "Time is gold".

But during this day the most important on this very special day of mine is I will always remember how my mum had sacrifice in a battle of her life to gave birth to me. Unlike mostly people just wanted a birthday present, special wishes and celebration on their birthday. But mine is just two hard-boiled eggs as breakfast. That will make my day. :) That is what my mum always told me. We are from poor family having two eggs is way too good enough already. As I grow up I love to eat cakes. Maybe is from the carving I don't have birthday cakes during my younger year back then. 

Nay! is just I like to eat cakes...hehe...

some nice tempting cheesecakes photo for myself :)

In a nutshell, year 2012 is gone for the first half and next half year is going to be use more wisely to fulfil our resolution as we planned from the beginning of the year which not we not yet achieved it. Let's put more effort into it. Gambateneh!!     

Monday Blues

Today I'm totally blur. Is Monday so I'm sure I am a little bit blur. (Monday bluess..OooOo)

Coming to work knowing nothing much to do (as usual having my laptop as my companion ) but then I forget to bring my laptop charger. So end up I can't open my laptop for too long. I just manage to glance through a few emails and have to shut it down to prevent it can't be opened during afternoon (my 2nd time email checking).

I'm a little blur as well...ermm maybe due to something occurred last night. Nay just forget about it as I wouldn't want to spoil my lovely blog.

Then my office having a lot of pregnant ladies recently. Well as everybody knows 11th November 2011 (11.11.11) last year is a very good or I can say is indeed a very special day to get married. So this year all those newly wed ladies is preggy this year (2012). But some of them married at the early of the year 2011, so their babies is due this early of 2012. The new born babies is so cute, adorable, chubby (unfortunately I don't have the babies photo ^^ )

The point is...when i told them "Owh! the babies is so cute, so chubby, so adorable." Ehem ehem..there come the mood spoiler question. My colleague will say, "You can have one of yours too. Go and get marry." Glup...all I can do is smile and can't say a thing. Is like my expression on my face which I can't express it so all I can do is express in my heart is (-_-|||)...

I will too when my Prince manage to find me. I'm sure he is somewhere out there wandering and searching for me too. Right or not, my dearest Prince. :)

~written on 18th June 2012, Monday on a piece of paper~

......

Video Source is from Dellafans at Youtube

As I type this from my draft paper I found this piece of song is very suitable for the situation above.
Is a song from Della Ding Dang (叮当) titled 一半 (in English is The Other Half)

Is a rather sad song...do enjoy ya...

Fear

"The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek" by Joseph Campbell.

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." by Franklin Roosevelt.

This two words of wisdom really get me into thinking. We use to be fear or afraid to do something that we really want to pursue. We want something so badly but never have the urge to do so.

It is because we are fear. Fear of failure, fear of being rejected, fear of disappointment, fear of losing something more valuable when we do it, fear and fear and more fear will be out of our mind before we do it. All the possibility of fear we kept thinking making us to be more afraid to do it.

But do we really have to do each and everything just because we desire it. Let's say you want to be rich and a friend of yours knew a way to get you to be rich but is an outlaw ways, because you're fear of the laws and regulation, so you never did it. Is that a bad or a good thing? In such situation for me is good to be fear if not your are gonna be ending up in jail.

How about relationship? Some people they admire someone too much but never dare to voice it out. As like this, that person just kept to him/herself as they don't wanna ruin the friendship if it is being rejected after saying everything. At least he/she knew that he/she will still have their best friend or can still be by her/his side whenever she/he need him/her. As i know is, happiness not necessarily to have them, staying by each other side is also a happiness. Seeing the other happy, I believe you will be happy too. Unlike some people with too much bravery, chase the girl or guy till wanna commit suicide, attempt to kill the person he/she loved, and etc. Too dramatic already can scare the person away. Not even a friend can be consider but to put thing worst is you wish you never meet such crazy admirer.

So, I guess being fear or afraid is nothing wrong right. So next time don't simply scold you're friend coward...okay.

Hurt

Yes, is been a while i didn't update my blog. To be exact is pass seven days already. Is almost a week hah.

Okay, what is in my mind today is, we use to hurt ourselves without we knowing it or via verse. Don't you people agree.

Let's see, for example sometimes i really don't know how did i hurt myself, till i wash my hand or take a bath only i can feel the pain. If i had a paper cut i didn't realize it and is so painful to my finger or palms when it goes under running tap water. If i accidently rushing into something like knocked between chair or table i didn't realize it too, and when i bath only i feel the sore it gave on the knocking legs. It do give me some blue black bruise too.

Ya, i know i do sometime hurts other as well without i myself knowing it, especially to my most closest family member. Sometime, i think i am doing the correct thing but to them i am actually hurting them already. When i try to correct them they take it as my rebellious. Then all they gonna do is to hurt me more with words. All my pride and self-esteem is getting to the lowest point ever. But who cares. To them i am there disobedient daughter, even i treat them good (or maybe this is what i think i m all the while..self-confused). To honestly speaking, i am actually a very low self-esteem person, introvert, a not attractive to eyes of most people. So when they hurt me is like i am the worst creature God have made me to be on this earth. If i have problems to them only i can voice out but to them also they will use those problems as the weapon to hurt me more during a mouth fighting time.

Is terrible feeling i am having but who is there to care. For them is they are the adult, i am their kids so the kids have to be obeying every single word they said and done. I try to be happy each day since my working environment and situation is not very pleasing. But to me the most important is my family. I am living for them but when things crack up in the family matters regarding me i will be hurt the most in my mentally but do they know it. Even i told them nobody is there to care cause i am the one who is wrong.

Hurting is very painful. Even hurting our hand accidently with paper cuts, how bout mentally hurt?

And i never plan to write anything sad in my beautiful blog as this is gonna be a very beautiful journey for me, which is meant to be treasure. But since i don't have anyone to voice out i can only mumble it here. Sorry to make you all my readers read all this sad things.