Hurt

Yes, is been a while i didn't update my blog. To be exact is pass seven days already. Is almost a week hah.

Okay, what is in my mind today is, we use to hurt ourselves without we knowing it or via verse. Don't you people agree.

Let's see, for example sometimes i really don't know how did i hurt myself, till i wash my hand or take a bath only i can feel the pain. If i had a paper cut i didn't realize it and is so painful to my finger or palms when it goes under running tap water. If i accidently rushing into something like knocked between chair or table i didn't realize it too, and when i bath only i feel the sore it gave on the knocking legs. It do give me some blue black bruise too.

Ya, i know i do sometime hurts other as well without i myself knowing it, especially to my most closest family member. Sometime, i think i am doing the correct thing but to them i am actually hurting them already. When i try to correct them they take it as my rebellious. Then all they gonna do is to hurt me more with words. All my pride and self-esteem is getting to the lowest point ever. But who cares. To them i am there disobedient daughter, even i treat them good (or maybe this is what i think i m all the while..self-confused). To honestly speaking, i am actually a very low self-esteem person, introvert, a not attractive to eyes of most people. So when they hurt me is like i am the worst creature God have made me to be on this earth. If i have problems to them only i can voice out but to them also they will use those problems as the weapon to hurt me more during a mouth fighting time.

Is terrible feeling i am having but who is there to care. For them is they are the adult, i am their kids so the kids have to be obeying every single word they said and done. I try to be happy each day since my working environment and situation is not very pleasing. But to me the most important is my family. I am living for them but when things crack up in the family matters regarding me i will be hurt the most in my mentally but do they know it. Even i told them nobody is there to care cause i am the one who is wrong.

Hurting is very painful. Even hurting our hand accidently with paper cuts, how bout mentally hurt?

And i never plan to write anything sad in my beautiful blog as this is gonna be a very beautiful journey for me, which is meant to be treasure. But since i don't have anyone to voice out i can only mumble it here. Sorry to make you all my readers read all this sad things.