Good Man

Some young kid said to me in a short conversation,

"Wow, your age is no kidding. You need a man now. 

What kind of man you're looking for?

Tall or short? Age must be older than you; or you can accept those youngsters too?"

I goes speechless. A kid said all this to me like an old busybody aunty.

What an awkward moment from a kid?

I don't know how to answer this kid. Then I goes like anyone as long as a good man will do.

A good man.

I never ever think about what kind of man I need until this question bombarded me.

But there is some listing of the type of man I need after a short thinking with prayer to God.

-He must be a Christian, who will put God first and love God and next is me. A God children will never go wrong.
-He must be mature in mentally. So age doesn't matter to me, but provided he don't mind my age too.
-Someone who can accept everything of me. (My ugliness, I'm not from a rich family, my fats, my bad, my weakness and my strength, my job etc..)
-Appearance doesn't matter the most important is his character.

Haha...doesn't it sound so wide and not very specific. But why is so hard for me to meet such a guy.

Good Man...where are you? :)

Succeed

望子成龙, 望女成凤.
Wàngzǐchénglóng, wàng nǚ chéng fèng

Every parents hope their children will be a succeed person.

Their male child will be like dragon, their female child will be like phoenix.

But, how many children really succeed in their life? Especially in this modern society, this 21st century world is very high demanding, high class.

Everything in daily life is so expensive. Everything is so high tech. Everything need to be pretty and beauty which need to groom up and need money too.

Successful life shouldn't be measured by money, by class or level in the society.

Is the internal values of the human character that count. But our recent society is indeed very demanding.

No beauty,
No handsome, you are out.
No money, out too.
No sense of humour.
Not a chatter box...
No car, No house,
No awesome guaranteed job and pay...
No this and Not that...
All the No and Not will keep appearing in my mind to vent it here.


To sum things up, succeed is very wide, and is depand on your own definition of succeed, you don't have to measure it with material.

Even you have a RM10 is more to others who have RM1. So stop compared with those who have million and billion of money.

Other may have big car, a house but you should be grateful you have a shelter to shield you against wind, rain and sunshine.

Other all have marriage life with beautiful wife, handsome husband, with cute little babies, and you should be happy you have family too, you parents, siblings, if you don't you still have friends, if you don't have 1 friend is okay, you still have God to love you by sending Jesus to be with you, guide you.

Other have beautiful clothes but do you know there is more outside there who don't have anything to wear.

Be thankful you have 3 meals a day although is not seafood, or great buffet dinner everyday, as there is more who don't even have a meals for 3 days.

Other still searching for job while we keep complaining how tough and stressful our job is and was.

Other is sick need to be hospitalize, comatose they wants to walk also difficult but we ignore our health and once a while we have a marathon to show off with selfie or do some heavy work we complaining tired, legs was in agony this and that.

Ohh...he or she is more handsome /prettier than me, but do you know there is some who were born handicap, more pitiful than us.

So and so kids, get 100% in exam, why my kid so stupid only have 98%. But do you know there is more kids other there who don't even have changes to attend school, who don't know ABC 123.

So stop comparing yourself with other because there is no ending to everything. Succeed is when you think you are.

Some...thinking

Is been a long time I didn't update myself here.

Almost forgot that I have you, my little bloggie. My personal space to vent out my thought for me to track back what shape me into the Me of now.

And now is October 2015, about another 2 months plus we will walk into the year 2016.

Have you been waiting, anticipating and longing for the new year to come?

Me not so much. As one more year means the you will grow older by a year...more responsibilities as you grow older, more task awaiting for you ahead.

I am trying my best everyday to live the best as I can, although some obstacle will still coming to bring me down.

Just go on and be strong, girl. You can do it. Gambate! Aja aja, fighting! :)

Desperate?

Suddenly this word appear in my head after seeing a friend of mine posted "Lelong girl to get married...no matter what type of guy even a veggie seller or fisherman is welcome".

Before this, a cousin of mine which finished her figure of number 2 in front of the age on recent year is making a big fuss by her mother. Her mother were so worried and have to ask around for bachelor guy, for her daughter during Chinese New Year this year. 

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Is actually making me afraid too, as after a few years my figure of number 2 also will be gone. Why? Because if compare me with the two above story, I am the most unattractive. As you all can see those attractive people also can't find their life partner yet and how am I going to have a life partner too. If there is a bachelor guy, I think he will seek those two above first before choosing me. 

This year I have met a guy through facebook but he show no interest in me, no doubt as he is just like a stranger to both of us. To tell the truth I can't accept his appearance too but I have learn to accept him in everything if he is willing to put a try in this friendship into another higher stage. But he show no action and I realize he have a bundle of beautiful single ladies commenting on his wall, updated status and pictures. So am  I putting him to choose me within a bundle of girls. If it is like this, doesn't I'm like "lelong'ing" myself too. Am I so priceless and cheap? Am I showing that I am DESPERATE too?

But whenever I am giving up and stop intruding his life in facebook. He will come back to drop a few words. I am heartaching when I knew he is going to confess his feeling to his beloved with in this week. I'm so sad and even cried a few time, I even prayed to God about it. Not because I love him or what, is that I know I am losing another friend in male gender.

There is a pick-up line I heard for the drama The Emperor's Harem...
"We women is like a dish on the table waiting to be chosen and eaten by the only customer which is the one and only customer that is the Emperor."

Why we the women have to be like this pick-up line so sad, so useless, so desperate and nothing can change it. Is like there is just the only guy left in this world. I want to change the law of this pick-up line. I refuse to be put on the table to be chosen by the only guy. So you don't click with me, I will carry on and start to my next journey to my next station till there is someone who can click with me.

Sometimes

Sometimes life is so hectic till i can't breathe,
Sometimes life is too boring till i don't know what to do.

Sometimes I want to pursue my dreams but dare not,
I am a coward after all.

Want to quit my job but there is a lot to be consider,
Is not I don't like my job, but I loved it,
Is just there is not challenging for me to move forward from the job I'm doing now,
Making me only feels like wasting my precious youth time.

I want to go further, to a job which I can show my very best,
A job which is relevant to my educational level,
I don't want to suppress myself,
Suppress my hidden potential to a better job,
But to no avail none want me.

Just be the me where i am now.
Sit still typing all this ridiculous thoughts of mine.

We are the same

I am very happy today because I can join a fellowship, and I am surprise to know that people there is as normal like me too.

There is also people having difficulties and stress in their working place.
They also struggle to make ends meet.
There also people who don't really understand a Bible verse after reading it.
There is also people who feel amazed by my simple and lousy English. This one really build up my self confident. Because I don't know how to read Mandarin.
There is also people who think that the world is having less Godly people, which make people hard to find soulmate.
There is also people who keeps wearing the same attire to the fellowship.
There is also people who is afraid of driving.
There is people who study different field and work in another field.
There is people around my age but still worried about confirmation of their work. Making me feel I am still very lucky although I am always working on stress like fire burning me every working days and weirdo all surrounded me.
The world is still having some friendly people.

Thanks God for letting me join a fellowship after sometime away from fellowship ever since I am away from my uni life.

I am so envious with them before I knew them. They are so pretty, fashionable, and always seem to be very happy and looking rich. But once I really know them they aren't like what I think. They're actually just the same like me. We are the same.

Hot

The weather here is extremely hot, and stuffy.

I am curious, how come I everyday undergo in a hot and stuffy room like in a sauna room but I never loss a kilogram. Funny right. People sit in this kind of room sure become very skinny but me still maintain. What is wrong with me?

I want to lost weight not much just 5 kg will be enough, then I can fit into any cloths, can go swimming in swimsuit and at least can boost my self-esteem a little bit. :)

Is hard to buy cloth when you are a little chubby especially on the butt and thigh. I just wanna lost those two parts in my body but it seem so hard. Anyone can give me a good and priceless solution. Erm..I don't wanna go to slimming center as I can't afford it.

How I wish it rain?